Despise

Do you simply despise your friend's girlfriend/boyfriend? Here are some ways to not let her/him come in the way of your friendship.

This is a classic situation that has happened to almost all of us. Your best friend, the one you have literally grown up with, who you have shared your deepest darkest secrets with, has a new man/girl in her/his life and you simply hate her/him. But like most friends you are not sure how to tell him/her and deal with the repercussions. So should you open your mouth and risk being blacklisted by your friend or should you simply grin and bear it up?

- Before telling your friend how you feel, try to think about what exactly you don't like in her/his love-interest. It could be the way s/he talks, her/his attitude or simply the way s/he treats your friend. Ensure that you have some valid points to make or you will end up looking like a jealous friend. Remember, no matter how much you hate her/his guts, you need to use a tactful approach when telling your friend what you dislike about her/him.

- If your best friend's new relationship is annoying you because you aren't getting enough alone time with her/him, fear not. Try to understand that s/he will be busy in the start of the relationship and may not have much time to spare. But at the same time, tell her/him how you feel and you both can still do girly/boys stuff together. Going shopping together, pampering yourselves at the spa or salon or even watching Sex & the City re-runs — these are some things s/he wouldn't want to do with her/him man and you can always be there.

- Figure out what issue you have with your friend's man/girl and see if you can resolve it. Maybe you just need to spend some time alone with her/him and talk it out. If you feel s/he bad mouths you to your friend, ask her/him about it. Find out what is the bone of contention. You could also tell her/him if you don't like the way s/he behaves around your friend and to improve.

- It's perfectly all right to have an opinion on your mate's love interest. But, if you feel that s/he is doing her more harm than good, it might make sense to tell another friend about it. If her/his boy/girlfriend is a drug user or has been cheating on your friend or has a history of bad behaviour than you owe it to your friend to tell her/him and let her/him decide what to do. This can be risky, as if your friend still keeps the relationship you may feel betrayed. No matter what your friend decides to do, once you tell her/him, your duty ends. You need to let go which may also mean being there for your friend if s/he decides to marry the guy/girl.

- At times, no matter how much you hate it, it's best to cut ties with your friend until s/he realises herself that her/his boy/girlfriend isn't right for her/him. This might seem a bit drastic initially but can work out in the long run. Especially if your friend is in a very depressing or abusive relationship and refuses to get out, it can affect your mental state too. Make sure s/he knows that you love her/him and will be there for her/him if s/he decides to leave him/her.

Courtesy: a couple of websites.